July 2, 2010

what an adventure

so the first few days were hell. how can you love a little creature so much, but at the same time want your old life back so badly? i felt an undescribable guilt for feeling that way, and i didn't think it was normal.

luckily, my feelings were somewhat validated. it wasn't me, i wasn't doing anything wrong ~ unfortunately it took almost a week to figure that out.

she latched like a champ and was eating properly. we would hold her, cuddle her, change her diaper, yet she screamed and screamed and screamed for hours on end. the one night she screamed from 9pm until 4am. the next night we braced ourselves, we moved the t.v. from our rec room into our bedroom, rented a couple movies and settled in for a long night. and a long night it was.

i noticed bits of blood in her diapers, but i had been warned that sometimes little girls can have a "mini period" of sorts after birth, since my horomones are running through her little body. however that should clear up within a few days. this wasn't clearing up and the amount was increasing. finally j noticed one night as he was changing her, and she decided to projectile poop on the table that the blood was coming from her tiny little bum.
at 1:30 that night (or morning i guess) i called the midwife (thank God for those midwives, who else can you call at that time?) she calmed me down and assured me that she would be over the next day.

sunday afternoon she came over and we showed her the saved blanket and diaper full of poop. lucky her. sure enough, she knew just by looking at it that something was wrong. immediately she called the hospital and was in touch with the on call pediatrician. we met with her that day and she diagnosed kinley with colitis.

no wonder she was screaming for hours on end, her poor little intestines were so sore and bleeding she didn't know how to handle the pain. from there it's been pretty smooth sailing, and we have a new little baby on our hands. i was instructed to stay off dairy, and thankfully that helped a lot! she's lactose intolerant, hopefully not forever and it's just due to the fact that her digestive system is still getting the hang of working.

but boy do i miss my cheese, and milk, and yogurt, and chocolate....and all sorts of other wonderful things that contain dairy. and sadly she's so sensitive even pizza is out of the question....

ahhh the things mother's do for their babes.
how can i resist?

our first day at home. one very tired mummy and sweet kinley

1 comment:

  1. Oh dear. Hang in there. I hope she feels better soon.



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